


Collectible

by Jazzy_Kandra



Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn - Brandon Sanderson, The Alloy of Law - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: This was written pre-Bands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 17:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12989409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazzy_Kandra/pseuds/Jazzy_Kandra
Summary: On the day MeLaan brought him his first Soonie Pup, TenSoon learned to hate consumerism…and decides something needs to be done about them. Warning: violence towards innocent stuffed animals.Prequel to Found Objects, part of the Mistshot series.





	Collectible

In a cavern in the midst of the Homeland, a certain kandra was trying to relax. Unfortunately, some  _child_  had a different set of plans. From his rather comfortable dog bed  (1) inside one of the multiple caverns in that sacred place, he heard MeLaan approach him, malicious giggles and footsteps interrupting his nap.

What had she done  _this time_? Hopefully, it wouldn’t be as bad as the time that she, Sazed, and the Lord Mistborn had forced him to play fetch, a story printed in the newly minted newspapers the very next day.

Knowing MeLaan, it would be just as…”hilarious”. He sighed, slowly leaving his heavenly dog bed, wasn’t she getting too old for these foolhardy pranks?

 _She knows you need it, I think,_   _old friend, as do I,_ said Sazed.

Wonderful. Harmony was encouraging it, just what he “needed”.

“Hey, TenSoon,” said kandra let out a low pitched growl crossed with a wolfhound sigh. MeLaan stood only a few paces away at the entrance to this particular cavern, a large grin plastered on her face and a copy of the  _Daily_ in her hands. She was on the edge of laughter. What in the cosmere had she found? Wasn’t she  _supposed_  to be on assignment? These questions just made him grow grumpier.

 _You may not want to know the answer_. Sensing a dribble of amusement from Harmony himself, TenSoon inwardly groaned. Great, MeLaan had told Harmony already. Whatever she had found in the  _Elendel Daily_ , (2) it could  _not_  be good.

“Have you seen these?” His former charge flipped the newspaper over, showing him the front page. There was another Ironeyes sighting (false, Marsh was on a ship heading towards the Southern Continent at that very movement, he’d get there next week), yet  _another_  story about Lord Ladrian bringing down a member of the Set (how “unusual”), and…he growled.

On the front page, he saw the worst thing consumerism had ever bred. An ad for  _Soonie Pups._ A deeper hatred filled him for those definitely not-cute toys than any he had ever experience for an inanimate object. 

He barked. Then showed his teeth, and pounced at  the newspaper in her hands, but she side-stepped in time to avoid getting tackled by several hundred pounds of kandra-dog.

“But Soonie.” He glared at that…nickname. When she was young, MeLaan had given it to him, he’d hated it then just as much as he hated it now. And now those humans had named toys after him using  _it_. Wait. She hadn’t…! “I think they’re cute.”

Harmony. She had. Sazed’s amusement filled the cavern, echoing against the earthen walls.

TenSoon growled again, hunching, readying himself to pounce once more. Of course they liked this. It was probably a part of an intricate plot to raise his spirits set in motion years ago before Kelsier’s Cognitive Shadow had gained access to the physical coil…and now it had come to fruition. Of course, what they really meant by “raising his spirits” was to mock him. Mock him and then never let him hear the end of it for the next three centuries.

“See,” she stuck the paper under her arm, revealing…a stuffed Soonie Pup behind it. “Real” fur, black eyes, four legs, and definitely not  _cute_ or  _adorable_ by any means. He clenched the dirt and rocks beneath his crawls.

“You can even move his legs.” She wiggled said legs. “Or better yet, make it bark.” The young kandra barked and growled, but didn’t come close to sounding anything like a real dog. She had never been that good at imitating animals. MeLaan couldn’t even meow well enough to mimic a cat.

“Oh don’t give him that look, Soonie, you’ve make him sad,” she said, pulling on the stuffed toys face a little, making the Pup look like it was frowning. “He’s your long lost son!“

That did it.

TenSoon leaped off of his hind quarters, clenching the Soonie Pup in his mighty jaws and toppling MeLaan in the process of taking her toy. Landing on top of the downed kandra, he preceded to rip the legs, eyes, and stuffing out of that detestable toy. Even as he did so, MeLaan fell into a fit of laughter, and Sazed’s  _joy_ filled the Homeland, making it feel like the subtle warmth of a bright spring day.

That day, he swore he would have his revenge. The company which made these toys would fall.

Several months and a lot of small stuffed gifts later (which he tore apart with all dignity), a series of strange events led to a certain toy company to fall to pieces. No one knew how it had come about, but wearing the body of a man in a black, TenSoon smiled at this news recorded in a recent article by the  _Report_.  
  
All it had taken was a few decimals in the wrong place, an innocent mistake, really. Albert had just been exhausted that week, he’d only just recovered enough to go back to work after his recent bout of pneumonia. Shame really. They should’ve given him more time to mend.

It seemed this problem was over. He’d won. TenSoon could now get rid of this body, make the man have a “heartache” or “stroke” perhaps, and go back to normalcy.  Even though MeLaan swore that his idea of normalcy was  _boring_ , and that he didn’t get out of the Homeland enough (he’d been quite busy over the last six months, first with…Paalm and now stopping the manufacturing of those damnable Pups).

No more small “gifts” from MeLaan.

No more stuffing and fake fur torn to bits each week.

No more little stuffed toys to protect small children and keep them safe…(3)

Good riddance. He could finally go back and take a nap…he’d never have to deal with those damned stuffed pups again…

Except they were now… _collectible_.

 

***

 

(1) Dog beds are a must have for all proper wolfhounds and kandra in wolfhound bodies, plus the  _best_ product that capitalism has EVER created. This is an obvious truism across all worlds and all time.

  
(2) In SoS, the ad appeared in  _The House_ , but here, it appears in the  _Daily._ For the next several months, these ads were everywhere advertising the “worst” toy in the world. Worst, of course, really is the best.  
  
(3)Not that he likes the idea. Not at all.


End file.
